Kurt Hummel Always Wins
by xladykelly101x
Summary: Clearly Kurt Hummel could be sexy. But why did he act otherwise in "Sexy"? Well, it all started with Rachel and Mercedes. And a jacket. But hey, those are just details. Kurt/Blaine, Rachel/Wes, Mercedes/David, and the Warblers, of course.


**Sunday, December 25, 2011  
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**Hello Guys!**

**Yes, i haven't disappeared off the face of the earth. 'When the Dalton Warblers Met the Divas' will be updated soon, but for now, i thought part of my apology should include this old story that i had been working on. Sorry, the ending is a bit plain, but i wanted to post something up for the readers on Christmas.**

**So, enjoy, for now. And thanks to the people who have been reviewing my other story and reminding me to update! Be expecting the next chapter to be up in a few hours or so. I've been working at it and it will probably get a freakin' long author's note too. But for now...  
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><p>Half the Warblers were lying comfortably in Kurt's room on Tuesday night. While Nick, Jeff, Wes, and David were playing video games, Kurt, Blaine, Seth, Rachel, and Mercedes were spread across Kurt's bed and desk finishing up their homework. Mercedes breathed out heavily as she shut her textbook close. "Finally done with that. Now, what else did I have for homework?" she asked herself aloud. Rachel glanced up at her and asked, "Did you find a song for Schuester's assignment?" Kurt looked up from his calculus homework and asked, "What's your assignment this week?" Both girls groaned. "Sexy." This caught the attention all the Warblers in the room, including the ones who were playing video games. Everyone turned to stare at the two girls, who stared back at them.<p>

Kurt raised an eyebrow at them and asked, "Why?" Rachel rolled her eyes and said, "According to him, New Directions knows nothing about sex. Which is completely untrue because my dads give me the sex talk like every month!" Mercedes groaned. "And I usually end up having to listen to it too."

"That's because you go to my house a lot."

"Not even!"

"Psh, you practically live there!"

"Okay fine! It's not my fault your house is comfy!"

"Ha!"

Blaine laughed at the two girls as the Warblers who were playing video games paused the game and moved over so that they were closer to Kurt's bed. "So you guys are doing songs that are 'sexy'?" Rachel shrugged. "Who knows?" Wes and David glanced at each other with a mad glint in their eyes and looked at Blaine. Blaine noticed their glance and gave a mad glint of his own. "Looks like the Warblers are going to get sexified!" he said as he rushed out of the room with the two head Warblers.

Nick looked after them and suddenly had a thought. "Hey, Britney Spears is sexy! Maybe I can convince them to do a Britney Spears number! Come on Jeff! Help me convince them!" He dragged an unwilling Jeff out of the room after the other three males. Seth sighed as he closed his textbook and picked it up. "I'll go make sure they don't break something again." He kissed Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt each on the cheek before heading out of the room.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, while Mercedes and Rachel laughed, all three of them used to the Warblers' crazy antics. "Aren't you going to help them out?" asked Mercedes with a giggle. Kurt shook his head with a smirk and said, "Nah, I'm already sexy enough. I don't need to get even more sexified." Rachel grinned as she whacked his shoulder lightly. "I think going to Dalton is turning you too cocky." Kurt just grinned back at her, as she and Mercedes suddenly shared sly smirks.

"The Warblers haven't seen your ultra sexy side, though, have they?" asked Rachel.

"Nope."

"Then 'Cedes and I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, and what would that be?" Kurt asked curiously.

"You have to act like you know nothing about sex or being sexy for the entire week," said Mercedes.

"What do I get out of this when I win?"

"I'll get you that new Marc Jacobs washed leather jacket," said Rachel.

Kurt gave them a wicked smile. "You're on. One week. No sexiness. Then I get my leather jacket."

"Alright. Starting today. And no telling anyone about this too."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Rachel and Kurt returned to doing their homework, while Mercedes got up and looked at Kurt's CDs trying to get inspiration for a song to use for her assignment. She picked up a Christina Aguilera CD and looked at the songs. "Do you think Christina's 'Dirty' would be a good song to use?" she called out loud to them. Kurt thought for a second and said, "It's sexy enough for you, babe." Rachel smirked. "Let your inner diva soar with those notes." Mercedes grinned at them and said, "Help me practice," as she shut the door of Kurt's room. The other two nodded at her, closing their books and Mercedes putting in the CD. They grinned at each other as the beginning notes played and Kurt opened his mouth to sing the intro words.

_XxX_

The next day, Kurt was eating a salad in the dining hall for lunch when Wes, David, and Trent appeared behind him, each holding their own lunch trays.

"Kurtie!" cried Wes, as he and the other two boys sat down next to him.

"Yes?" asked the pale boy, eye-ing the three boys.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I said guess!"

"No."

"Awwww! Come on! Guess!" pouted Wes.

"No."

David then cut in and said, "You're going to be singing a duet with Blaine!"

Kurt looked at them with surprised eyes as he asked, "What? Why…?"

"So you guys can have an actual reason to eye-rape each other," he replied back cheerfully.

Kurt choked on a lettuce leaf as Trent smacked Wes and David across their heads. "What he means is, they think your voices might match well and they want to see how sexy you were singing lead."

Kurt took a sip of his water and glanced at the two head Warblers. "And here I was thinking you two were straight for Rachel and Mercedes."

Wes blushed and David laughed, saying, "Of course not Kurtsie. I _loveee_ you!" Kurt rolled his eye and picked up a french-fry from Trent's plate and proceeded to throw it at David's head. Trent laughed as Blaine, Seth, Flint, and Ethan walked up to their table. The four Warblers sat down as David playfully cuddled up to Kurt's shoulder and the countertenor flicked him on the forehead. Wes smirked at Blaine as the lead soloist sat across from Kurt. He shot an odd look at the Asian Warbler, before asking, "Yes Wes?"

Wes casually slung his arm over Blaine's shoulder and said, "Guess who has a duet with you!"

Blaine looked curiously and him and asked, "Who?"

David winked at him and said, "Kurt Hummel."

Blaine's face turned into a smile as he looked at the countertenor next to him, winking at him.

Kurt blushed as he turned towards David and Wes, saying, "You guys never told me what song we were going to sing."

Blaine answered before the other two opened their mouths. "'Animal' by Neon Trees. We decided it yesterday, but I didn't know they decided to make it a duet."

Kurt looked confused at the song choice. "Wait, 'Animals'?"

Seth said, "Apparently, it's _sexy_."

Kurt's eyes widened before he answered. "Are you sure I'm the right person to do this duet with?"

Blaine looked at him, slightly panicked, "Wait, do you not want to sing with me? I thought we sounded perf- um good together during 'Baby It's Cold Outside'!"

Kurt shook his head and said, "It's not that I don't think we sound good together. It's more like I can't be….._sexy."_

Flint and Ethan grinned at him and Ethan answered, "You're plenty of sexy to Blainey over here, since he can't stop eye-sexing you."

Blaine smacked them both across the head as David looked at Trent and said, "See! They agree!" Trent rolled his eyes and threw a french-fry at David's head.

Kurt got up with his now finished salad. "Fine, whatever you say. But don't say I didn't warn you. I have to go call 'Cedes and Rach now."

He was about to leave, when David called out, "Tell Mercy that I'll call her later." Kurt turned back towards David and wiggled his eyebrows playfully at him, causing the head Warbler to blush. Kurt then exited the dining hall, leaving the other Warblers to finish their lunches, and thinking _'Damn those girls. They knew this was coming. How am I going to be sexy without being sexy?_

_XxX_

The next few days consisted of the Warblers practicing 'Animal' and teaching simple choreography to each other, trying to be sexy. Wes and Thad had Randall ask his sister to bring over some of her friends from Crawford Country Day to watch their performance on Friday afterschool. The Warblers also asked Rachel and Mercedes to watch their performance when the two girls visited on Thursday, but they both gave the group a sly smile and said they were busy. So when Friday came, the Warblers met up with the girls of Crawford Country Day in a warehouse that Jake's father provided for them, each school having provided a bus for them to use. In the middle of the warehouse was a huge shelf-like structure with a foam machine at the top shelf.

The Warblers stood on the side of the structure as they allowed Blaine to introduce their group to the Crawford Country Day girls.

"I would like to welcome the ladies of our sister school Crawford Country Day. As you know, the Warblers are competing in our show choir Regionals competition next week."

He grinned at them as the girls from Crawford Country Day looked excitedly at the Warblers from Dalton.

"So, what we're going for here today ladies, is something a little... A little sexy. But we need your input, are we scream worthy? Do you we make your knees turn to jelly? So without further ado, hang onto your bobby socks, girls, 'cause we're about rock your world."

The girls gave excited smiles as the Warblers began their small performance.

_Na, na, na, na, na  
>Na, na, na, na, na<em>

The boys started running up the shelf-like structure and danced in their assigned positions as they girls began to bounce with the beat of their singing. They all paused and glanced backwards as Blaine took his cue to sing and appeared at the top of the structure.

_Here we are again  
>I feel the chemicals kickin' in<br>It's gettin heavier  
>And I wanna run and hide<br>I wanna run and hide._

He slowly made his way down to the bottom of the structure, giving the girls his dapper facial expressions and causing them to giggle giddily. As the girls watched Blaine, Kurt jumped in with a weird expression on his face and was mentally cursing Mercedes and Rachel the entire time. _'Of all times to not be sexy….at least I get a leather jacket out of this.'_

I do it every time  
>You're killin' me now<p>

Kurt gyrated his hips with the same expression as he sang to the beat the Warblers were making.

_And I won't be denied by you  
>The animal inside of you. <em>

He turned towards Blaine, who saw his facial expression and gave Kurt a confused look, thinking, '_What the heck is Kurt doing?'  
><em>  
><em>Oh, oh<br>I want some more  
>Oh, oh<br>What are you waitin' for?  
>Say goodbye to my heart tonight.<br>Oh oh  
>I want some more<br>Oh oh  
>What are you waitin' for?<br>What are you waitin' for?  
>Say goodbye to my heart tonight.<em>

The Warblers ran down from thee structure and danced along with Kurt and Blaine at the bottom of the structure. They used the choreography that they learned during their practices; Blaine continuously shooting Kurt confused looks.

_Hush hush the world is quiet  
>Hush hush we both can't fight it<br>It's us that made this mess  
>Why can't you understand?<br>Woah I won't sleep tonight._

The two soloists turned towards each other as the rest of the Warblers surrounded the girls and danced around them. Kurt and Blaine began to run up the structure again and leaned against the sides, Kurt throwing in a kick and leaning his head back. Then, they both grabbed onto the foam machine and turned it on. By then, the countertenor was mentally laughing instead of cursing his two female best friends, because he was having way too much fun with being not sexy.

_Oh, oh  
>I want some more<br>Oh, oh  
>What are you waitin' for?<br>Say goodbye to my heart tonight  
>Oh oh<br>I want some more  
>Oh oh<br>What are you waitin' for?  
>What are you waitin' for?<br>What are you waitin'_

They let foam fall freely on the Warblers, who were dancing along with the Crawford Country Day girls, as they continued singing. Some of the Warblers shed off their blazers and tossed around some beach balls that they had left on the side prior to their performance. Kurt and Blaine danced down the structure, eventually joining the rest of the Warblers on the floor.

_Here we go again  
>Here we go again<br>Here we go again  
>Say goodbye to my heart tonight.<em>

Some of the Warblers began to break dance in the foam and Blaine threw a beach ball at Kurt's head.

_Oh, oh  
>I want some more<br>Oh, oh  
>What are you waitin' for?<br>What are you waitin' for?  
>Say goodbye to my heart tonight..<em>

All the Warblers and the girls from Crawford Country Day were all jumping up and dancing along, with foam flying all around them. Once the song ended, the Warblers were all laughing and the girls from Crawford Country Day were ogling at them. After a moment, the Warblers who had thrown their jackets off were picking them up from the floor and talking to some of the girls. However, most of the attention from the girls was directed towards Blaine. Eventually, the advisor for the girls of Crawford Country Day called the girls out to the bus and most of the Warblers followed after them to say good-bye.

Two of the girls stayed behind and approached Blaine as he picked up his satchel and was about to talk to Kurt, who was casually sitting on the structure and fixing his hair. They tapped Blaine on the shoulder and each stuck out a slip of paper. "Call us." One of them said. Blaine smiled apologetically and said, "Sweet, but not in your team." Both girls looked unhappily at each other and walked away, as Blaine walked over to Kurt.

"Hey, are you alright? You kept making these weird faces during the entire song."

Kurt pretended to look confused and said, "Those weren't weird faces, those were my sexy faces."

Blaine decided to put it bluntly with Kurt and said, "It looked like you were having gas pains or something."

Kurt then acted frustrated, although he was mentally laughing his ass off, and said, "Great. How are we going to get up onstage at Regionals and sell sexy to the judges if I have as much sexual appeal and knowledge as a baby penguin?"

Blaine smiled at him and said, "We'll figure something out."

Kurt looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said," I'd rather not. Sexy is just not my thing."

"Come on, I'm sure you can be sexy. You just need to know more about it."

Kurt was mentally falling over at the conversation in laughter, but he managed to keep a straight face and said, "There's a reason I like Broadway musicals. Because the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets. I don't need to know all the graphic details."

Blaine looked at him sadly, believing that Kurt knew nothing about their topic. "Kurt, you're going to have to learn about it someday."

"Well, not today. Now if you excuse me, I'll be heading onto the bus now. I have plans with Mercedes and Rachel to go shopping tomorrow and I need to get some rest for it." Kurt grabbed his own bag and walked out of the warehouse, with Blaine following slowly after. They got onto the bus with the rest of the Warblers, but instead of sitting with Blaine like he did on the trip there, Kurt sat with Seth to avoid the awkward conversation that almost had Kurt bursting out in tears from the hilarity.

_XxX_

Kurt walked through the mall with his hands linked to Mercedes' and Rachel's. They were each carrying bags, although Rachel was carrying the least out of all of them. The three of them sat down in the food court, placing their bags next to them, as they laughed at a ridiculous pair of jeans they saw at a store.

"Oh, did I tell you guys about the performance we did for the girls of Crawford Country Day, yesterday?" asked Kurt.

Both girls nodded their heads, and Rachel asked, "'Animal', right?"

"Yeah. That was like the absolutely worst time ever to give me a solo. But at least I'm going to get a jacket out of it."

"Just 3 more days. How did the performance go though?"

"Blaine said I kept giving these weird faces that looked like I had gas pain or something."

Rachel's hand flew to her mouth and Mercedes started cracking up. Kurt joined them in their laughter as he said, "I know right? I can't wait to see his reaction when I tell him it was all a bet." They all laughed harder, when a group of boys walked up to their table. The three of them looked up to see that it was Wes, David, Seth, Randall, Casey, Nick and Jeff. Seth was carrying the same amount of shopping bags that Kurt had, Randall and Nick were each carrying a bag from a sports shop, Jeff was munching on a soft giant pretzel, and Casey, David, and Wes were each holding a smoothie.

"Hey!" each one of them said, the guys each kissing them on the cheeks and grabbing a chair to sit next to them.

"What were you guys talking about?" asked Wes as he offered Rachel some of his smoothie. She looked at him and he said, "Vegan fruit smoothie," so she grabbed it and happily took a sip. "Mh, thanks," she said as she passed it back to him and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek, causing him to blush lightly. Kurt smirked as he casually laid his head on Seth's shoulder and said, "Oh you know, same old, same old."

Randall raised an eyebrow and said, "So you guys were talking about us?"

"Yeah, basically," said Mercedes, as she grabbed David's drink and took a sip from it. He poked her in return and she grinned cheekily at him. "What are you guys doing here at the mall?"

"We didn't feel like staying at Dalton and Blaine said he had to go somewhere and talk to someone, so we just decided to go here," answered Jeff.

"So how was that performance you guys did yesterday?" asked Rachel.

"Kurt was making these weird faces."

"Shut up."

"You were!"

"And those girls from Crawford Country Day kept gushing about Blaine."

"They hardly paid any attention to us."

"Sure, pay attention to the gay guy with the cool voice."

Wes laughed at the other Warbler's comments and said, "At least they thought we were sexy."

David nodded. "Very true."

"Although Kurt might have looked a little creepy to them."

"Once again, shut up."

They all laughed as Kurt threw a napkin at Nick's head.

"Hey, I was just saying!"

Casey cut in before Kurt could reply. "Since we're conveniently over here, why don't we watch a movie?"

"Sure, why not. We've already gone through all the stores worth shopping in."

Soon, all of them were getting up with their shopping bags and heading towards the movie theatre that was located inside the mall.

Meanwhile, while the other Warblers were at the mall, Blaine was headed towards Lima for a different reason. After a long drive, he found himself standing in font of Hummel's Tires and Lube. He walked into the store and began to look for Kurt's dad.

"Mr. Hummel!"

Burt Hummel looked up from the car he was working on and smiled at Blaine.

"Hey there Blaine. I told you to call me Burt, remember?"

"Yeah. Sorry, Burt. Um, there was a reason I came here to talk to you."

"Is Kurt with you?"

"No. I came here alone."

"Is something wrong with him?"

"Oh, no. He's fine. It's just that…"

"Spit it out boy,"

"Have you ever talked to Kurt about sex?"

Burt was taken aback for a second by Blaine's question. "Have you two started dating?"

Blaine blushed. "No."

"Then how did you end up with this question?"

"It's actually a long story."

Burt looked at Blaine curiously for a second before saying, "No, I haven't talked to Kurt about sex. Did your father ever…?" He trailed off, looking at Blaine.

"No. I had to go looking for it myself. But with your close relationship with Kurt, I think you'd better more effective in giving him the information he needs. I had to go searching for. Kurt probably never will. And one day he'll probably end up in a situation where…."

"Duly noted. I'll, uh, get to it."

"Thanks Burt. You're a good father."

"You're a good boy, Blaine. Just treat Kurt nice. And since you two are already so cozy, you should get together soon."

Blaine blushed as he quickly turned around. "Thanks Burt. I have to- uh- go now. Bye!" As he exited the store, Blaine heard Burt laughing loudly and quickly walked to his car, still blushing. He was mentally thanking and cursing his good relationship with Kurt's father because his best friend's father (_'possible boyfriend'_ thought Blaine) liked him, but liked him enough to embarrass him at the same time. He turned on his car and began his drive back to Dalton so he could finish up his homework that he'd left behind.

On Sunday evening, just before Kurt was about to drive back to Dalton, his father caught him in the kitchen.

"Hey Kurt, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Yeah dad?"

"Have a seat."

Kurt took a seat at the living room chair and Burt dropped down some pamphlets in front of him. Kurt looked at them and recognized them with a horrified face.

"What are those?"

"They're pamphlets that I picked up from the free clinic. I think it's time you and I had the talk."

"Did Blaine put you up to this? Because if he did-"

"Regardless of who gave me the idea, we still would have eventually had to talk about this Kurt."

"Dad, I already know this stuff. Rachel's two gay dads have given me this lecture a few times that I've been to her house. You remember them right? Leroy and Hiram Berry."

"Oh, well that makes things easier. But I still want you to read those pamphlets."

"But dad! They have creepy diagrams!"

"Too bad."

He passed the pamphlets to Kurt, who picked them up daintily with his fingers.

"I guess I'll just read these before I go then. And dad?"

"Yeah Kurt?"

"Thanks."

Kurt smiled at his father, who smiled back in return, as he got up and went to his room with the hated pamphlets.

_XxX_

Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes laughed as they walked down the hallway leading to the stairway towards Warbler Hall the following Tuesday. When they finally stopped laughing, Mercedes raised an eyebrow and asked Kurt, "What happened to all the other birdies? I haven't seen them anywhere. DJ's usually the first person to hug me, aside from you." Rachel nodded. "Wesley would have been lifting me off my feet and spinning me around by now. Then Flint would have made some reference to them flirting with us."

"And Ethan would have found some way to drag in the sexual frustration between you and Blaine," added Mercedes.

Kurt blushed and gently hit Mercedes on her shoulder. "What? It's true!" she said while laughing. "I don't know where they are. And there is no sexual frustration between me and Blaine!"

"All lies!" joked Rachel. The three were walking up the staircase now.

"Not even! He thinks I'm as sexually appealing as a baby penguin!"

"That's what you _made _him think. But we clearly know you're way sexier than that."

"Hey! It's both of your faults he thinks that. And you made my dad make me read those disgusting pamphlets again _because_ Blaine told him about it. Your dads already gave me that lecture a long time ago, Rach!"

Rachel and Mercedes both burst out laughing, pausing in the middle of the stairway.

"Did you enjoy the diagrams?" teased Mercedes.

Kurt blushed a dark red. "No I didn't. You ladies owe me. My week is over."

"We will, we will. It's in my bag in your room. Now where are those Warblers? I got that fedora hat from my dad that Trent said he wanted and those suspenders that Thad requested," said Rachel. The group continued up the stairs and were almost at the top.

"I don't know. I saw most of them heading this way earlier. Blaine said that they were working on a project or something to bump up their sexiness or something."

"Figures why _you_ weren't invited."

"Hey! Once again, that was both of your faults."

As they reached the top step, the group of three heard soft 'dum'-ing/tapping sound coming from the doorway of the library. They gave each other confused looks as they heard the noise also coming from behind them on the staircase.

Suddenly, as they stepped into the library, they were surrounded by singing Warblers, namely Jason, Jake, Ethan, Flint, Trent, Randall, and Andy. From behind them came Nick and Jeff, also singing along with the Warblers standing in front of them. Rachel, Kurt, and Mercedes looked at each other, before rushing away from the rest of the Warblers towards the exit of the library. There, stood Blaine, opening his mouth to sing.

_Sugar  
>Sugar<br>mmm ... ooh_

The trio walked out of the library, when Wes, David, Seth, Thad, and Casey came out of nowhere and started dancing around them.

_She sits alone waiting for suggestions  
>He's so nervous avoiding all her questions<br>His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding  
>Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?<em>

The rest of the Warblers came out and began to dance around the trio during the chorus. Mercedes and Kurt shot each other odd looks, then glanced at Rachel, who had a bemused smile on her face.

_If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_  
><em>Come on, sugar, let me know<em>  
><em>If you really need me just reach out and touch me<em>  
><em>Come on, honey, tell me so<em>

Kurt and Mercedes joined in on Rachel's amusement as the Warblers began to dance against the trio. Randall was shimmying against Rachel's arm, Nick and Jeff danced closely around Mercedes, while Seth put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, swaying the countertenor side to side with the music.

_He's acting shy looking for an answer_  
><em>Come on, honey, let's spend the night together<em>  
><em>Now hold on a minute before we go much further<em>  
><em>Give me a dime so I can phone my mother<em>  
><em>They catch a cab to his high rise apartment<em>  
><em>At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant<em>

Blaine winked at Kurt as he slowly danced against Kurt, causing the pale boy to blush scarlet..

_If you want my body and you think I'm sexy  
>Come on, sugar, let me know<br>If you really need me just reach out and touch me  
>Come on, honey, tell me so<em>

Kurt laughed as both Rachel and Mercedes joking said, "You're sexy," to the Warblers, as they continued dancing around the hallway and around each other.

_His heart's beating like a drum  
>'Cause at last he's got his girl home<br>Relax, baby, now we are alone_

The three divas began to join in on the dancing with the rest of the Warblers, laughing as some of them did weird dance moves, like Ethan looking like he was trying to imitate a chicken.

_If you want my body and you think I'm sexy  
>Come on, honey, let me know<br>If you really need me just reach out and touch me  
>Come on, sugar, tell me so<em>

Kurt, Mercedes, and Rachel smirked at each other as they began to innocently grind with their backs against Blaine, David, and Wes. The latter three shot them shocked (and slightly lusty) looks. During the middle of the chorus, Kurt turned around so that his chest was pressing up against Blaine's, while Mercedes slid down against David's body, and Rachel dragged her hands against Wes's chest playfully. It took everything they had to continue singing, in fact.

_If you want my body and you think I'm sexy  
>Come on, honey, tell me so<br>If you really need me just reach out and touch me  
>Come on, sugar, let me know<br>Oh, If you want my body_

On the last note, David, Wes, and Blaine were left open mouthed at Rachel, Kurt, and Mercedes as the rest of the Warblers laughed at them. The two ladies blew kisses at the other three, while Kurt smirked at them. The three divas then turned away from the group. Rachel and Mercedes casually walked away like nothing happened, while Kurt jumped on Seth's back and shouted, "Go, go!" Slowly, the rest of the Warblers followed along after them, still laughing along the way. Eventually, Wes, David, and Blaine were the last people and they looked at each other, before shaking their heads as if to clear of their thoughts and grinned at each other. They then proceeded to chase after the rest of the Warblers walking towards Kurt's room.

Once they were all in there, Blaine immediately pounced on Kurt, who was casually sitting on his bed, and asked, "What was _that_? I thought you said you couldn't be sexy!"

Kurt turned his head to smirk at Mercedes and Rachel, who were sitting right next to him. "Nope.'

Blaine got off of him, blushing deeply, and said, "Care to elaborate?"

The rest of the Warblers sat around Kurt's bed, as if it were story time for them.

Kurt laughed and said, "You see, there was a little bet between Rachel, Mercedes, and I that had to act like I was not sexy and had no knowledge of sex for an entire week, which ended today. If I lasted that long, which I did, then Rachel would give me Marc Jacobs leather jacket that I've been wanting."

Seth chirped in, "The new one?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, you lucky dog."

Rachel got off the bed and pulled out a bag from next to her messenger bag. "Here," she said, passing it to Kurt. Kurt excitedly opened it and pulled out the jacket. "Oh, I love you so much Rach!" He hugged the jacket, then hugged Rachel.

"Wait, so you _do_ know how to be sexy?"

Kurt smirked, "Of course."

Jake looked at him and said, "Prove it."

Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes smirked at each other. "'Push It?" asked Mercedes.

"Push It," they both chorused back.

"And, we'll throw in 'Toxic' just because Nick is in here," said Kurt.

Mercedes grabbed Kurt's laptop and connected it to his TV. She went onto Jacob Ben Israel's blog and found the two videos they were talking about. She opened them in two separate tabs and got up.

"Enjoy," she said with a smirk, as she walked to the door where Kurt and Rachel were standing by, while the Warblers gave her a confused look.

"If you need us, we'll be… around." With that, the three of them walked out of the door.

The other Warblers looked at each other curiously. They heard the sound of curtains opening coming from the TV, then music and their jaws dropped open. **(A.N. I'm not going to explain their actions in the video. It's physically impossible for me to even try. Feel free to search up the video on YouTube, though.)**

_Get up on this!  
>Get up on this! <em>

Blaine's mind flew into the gutter when he saw the fanny pack around Kurt's waist. He gulped nervously. Then his jaw dropped as Kurt ran his hands down his body. _'Gas Pains? What was I thinking?' _he thought.

_Ow! Baby!  
>Salt and Pepa's here!<em>

_(Now wait a minute, y'all  
>This dance ain't for everybody<br>Only the sexy people  
>So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance<br>Dance, I said!)_

"Damn, shake that booty, Mercedes," David muttered. Some of the Warblers immediately turned to him, as the Warbler flushed a bright red. Others though, (basically Wes and Blaine) couldn't pull their eyes away from the screen.

_Salt and Peppa's here, and we're in effect  
>Want you to push it, babe<br>Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat  
>C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know<br>How to become number one in a hot party show  
>Now push it<em>

'_Damn, Rachel can rap. Hot…."_ Wes was basically drooling. Thad poked the head Warbler nervously.

"Wes?"

"SH!"

_Ah, push it - push it good_  
><em>Ah, push it - push it real good<em>  
><em>Ah, push it - push it good<em>  
><em>Ah, push it - p-push it real good<em>

_Hey! Ow!_  
><em>Get up on this!<em>

_Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop_  
><em>Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss<em>  
><em>Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed<em>  
><em>Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?<em>  
><em>Now push it<em>

Blaine watched enviously as Kurt smacked Finn's behind. _'Kurt shouldn't be touching anybody's ass except mine. Wait Blaine! Don't get jealous! It's his freakin' stepbrother for crying out loud! Why does he look horrified at that? I would love it if Kurt touched me there…."_

_Push it good_  
><em>Push it real good<em>  
><em>Push it good<em>  
><em>P-push it real good<em>

Kurt's hip thrusting? Blaine's mind basically short circuited. And David could not keep his eyes off of Mercedes' butt. In fact, he had this hungry look in his eyes….

Ah, push it  
>Get up on this!<p>

Wes's eyes widened comically when Rachel jumped onto Finn and started moving up and down. He growled jealously until the song was over.

Everybody sat in silence.

A second later, everybody blinked out of their surprised-haze.

"Damn. I'd tap that," Jeff joked.

"Who Kurt?" asked Seth, although he still looked a bit out of it.

"Heck yes!"

Blaine smacked Jeff across the head.

"Ow! I was just kidding!" he muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

"Can we watch 'Toxic', now?" Nick asked, excited for a Britney Spears song.

"NO!" shouted Wes and Blaine in unison.

The other Warblers smirked at them.

"I mean….." Blaine looked around nervously, "I think I'm going to find Kurt." He dashed out of the room.

Wes slowly backed up. "I think I'll go help." He ran after Blaine.

"Use protection!" Casey shouted with a smug grin on his face.

Randall turned over to David. "Aren't you going to join them?"

David shrugged and grinned. "Nah. I want to watch the video. It's not my fault Wes and Blaine are sexually frustrated."

The other Warblers laughed at his comment, as Nick pressed play for the second video.

XxX

"KURT! KURT! KURT!"

Kurt turned around after shooting a curious glance at Rachel.

He was suddenly knocked over and fell onto the floor. The countertenor felt his face being littered with small kisses.

"I'm so sorry for not thinking you were sexy, Kurt. I'll never ever, ever, ever doubt your sexiness ever again," Blaine cried, pressing soft kisses onto Kurt's cheeks.

Kurt laughed. "Okay Blaine. Now can I please get up from this floor?"

Blaine jumped up and stuck his hand down to offer help to Kurt. The brunet smiled and took the hand gladly. Once he was up, Blaine wrapped himself around Kurt tightly and wouldn't let go. Blaine closed his eyes and hummed happily. It seemed as if he was in a Kurt-induced high or something, because he was off in his own little world.

More footsteps came running. The others turned around in time to see Wes skid around the corner, then run back over to them.

"Why the heck did you guys do Push-" He broke off as he looked at Blaine wrapped around Kurt curiously. Kurt and Rachel shrugged.

"I think Kurt's sexiness short circuited Blaine's brain," Rachel teased.

Kurt stuck his tongue out at Rachel, but giggled nonetheless.

Wes took a second to look around. "Where did Mercedes go?" he asked, noticing that she wasn't with the duo.

"She went back inside to watch Toxic with the others. She must have taken a different route if you didn't see her," Rachel. "So, what'd you think of 'Push It'?"

"Bloody brilliant," Wes growled, grabbing at Rachel and clinging onto her, much like Blaine was doing to Kurt.

"Kurt, did your sexiness short circuit Wesley's brain too?" Rachel giggled.

Kurt smirked. "Nope, that was your own doing."

She shook her head playfully. "Come on, we should go back with the others."

The countertenor looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, we should." He froze for a moment. "Actually, we should wait until they finish watching 'Toxic'."

Rachel nodded after this consideration. "We'll walk slowly."

They began to move down the hallway, whispering into Blaine's and Wes's ears to move forward.

"You know, I've come to a conclusion," Rachel said, as they passed a big window overlooking the courtyard.

"What's that?" Kurt asked curiously. Blaine and Wes were also looking at her with questioning expressions.

Rachel grinned. "Sexy Kurt always wins." Wes grabbed her arm and clung onto it.

Kurt laughed as Blaine gripped onto him tighter, "Technically I wasn't even sexy this week."

"Okay, fine. Kurt Hummel always wins." Kurt and Rachel grinned at each other.

"That's more like it."

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>


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